It's SCARY to change your life. I think about how long it took to change things with Angie... oy. there were a lot of other factors there that aren't HERE though. A lot more positives than this situation. I NEVER was so interested in money that I thought I would stay at a job for money. PLUS... who ever heard of a DHS worker staying in a job for money? It's not like I make six figures. I guess, once Courtney likened this to HER hating being a counselor at CODA and gave me a full blessing on leaving... I freaked out a bit... yikes. I don't want to let anybody down.
Then again, I am SO freaked out to go to work today! I just missed six days, out of which only one was planned and so I'll no doubt have a HUGE mess to clean up! I have court on Tues and Wed that have no reports done... WAIT: who cares? WHO CARES?????? They are so awful there!!!!!!!! I will be nice to the CLIENTS and KIDS... screw the rest! I will bust it out for the families... beyond that, I have got to try and just be chill about it!
I think I am taking some anti-anxiety pills to work today. Sad, but they may just help kick off my new state of mind. :o) It will be nice to have a job where I don't need anti-anxiety pills in order to stop FREAKING out about all that I need to get done. It will also be nice to no longer need sleeping pills to fall asleep (and still wake up at 4:00am because my mind can only hold things off for so long). You should not need medication to make it through a job. A job should not create illness in you such as ulcers and yucky stuff... if it does, that job SUCKS! Even if you get to help some really kick ass people out while you're doing that job... FIND A NEW WAY to help those people!!!
My god, what was I freaking out about? Change will be good! This is just like when I freaked out before we moved here, and here is REALLY good, I cannot imagine the kids still living at the other house.
I REALLY miss the kids! They were gone for the weekend to Angie's parent's house and then Angie got a flat tire so they're coming back today. This is not only a bummer for Angie who has to buy two tires and miss work but it's also a bummer for us because it feels like forever since we've seen the kids. We had them until 10:00ish on Friday, but it feels like it's been weeks.
I can't wait to see what they think of the projects we did in the backyard, and to let them find the tiny animals that I picked up for free on the side of the road and tucked around the yard. (They're little figurines and I'm not going to tell them, just let them explore.) I also got a giant box of salt so that we could make play dough and I picked up a bunch of their books that were on hold at the library. They also start their new swimming schedule tonight which might be a nice one for summer. Come home, play and have dinner... go swim, then come home, bath, teeth story and bed. Makes me sleepy!
I guess I should try to go get ready for work. My set schedule doesn't have me starting until 8:30... that means that I have a lot of time to kill in the mornings. Kind of nice!
